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<title>$30 Dollars you won't get a kid by Squidge_06</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28761765">$30 Dollars you won't get a kid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidge_06/pseuds/Squidge_06'>Squidge_06</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ghost Bois Inc. Universe [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>., Ghost Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost Wilbur Soot, Multiple Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Parent Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:01:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,090</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28761765</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidge_06/pseuds/Squidge_06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eret wins a bet but doesn't get his fucking money<br/>Oh but he collects a child and another child and another child and also there are ghosts because of course there are ghosts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ghost Bois Inc. Universe [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106696</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>583</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>$30 Dollars you won't get a kid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I use multiple pronouns for Eret because I'm non binary and it makes me happy and it jumps a bit I'm sorry if if unclear</p><p>Eret is the best dad<br/>Enjoy my first fic in this au!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eret was not the father type, the eccentric uncle type perhaps, maybe even the older sibling type.</p><p>But he was definitely not the father type or so he thought until their friend Sapnap said</p><p>"$30 you won't get a kid"</p><p>And Eret who was anyone but the kind of person to back away from a dare replied with</p><p>"Bet"</p><p>And so 2 months later they had a kid.</p><p>And yes they know that fostering and then adopting a kid for $30 is not very responsible but he's barely 21, works a shitty 9-5 retail job and is in far too deep and loves Tubbo far too much to back out now. Regardless of what the PTA moms think of him.</p><p>They didn't even get the $30</p>
<hr/><p>Tubbo Smith was brought to her by his social worker. Small,silent and scared. She gave the boy a tour of the house and then Eret sat Tubbo down introduced themself properly and then asked the kid about himself.</p><p>The first words Tubbo ever spoke to him were: "My dead dad's ghost is lying drunk on your couch"</p><p>
  <em>He really wanted those thirty fucking dollars</em>
</p><p>Was what he thought but what he said was</p><p>"Can ghosts get drunk?"</p><p>Tubbo stared at him for a moment before shrugging and saying in a louder than average voice "I don't know! Apparently ghosts keep their shitty fucking habits in the afterlife!"</p><p>From his eye roll Eret assumed that the ghosts response was equally as unsatisfactory to Tubbo as it's current position.</p>
<hr/><p>Eret quickly realised that she did not know how to raise a child especially one with an alcoholic ghost father when on Tubbo's first birthday with her after opening the present Eret got the 13 year old, a bright yellow ukulele (he'd been talking about wanting to learn how to play on) he burst into hysterical sobs.</p><p>Eret panicked slightly but decided that the best thing to do was to hug his kid until he stopped crying</p><p>Eventually the tears stopped and when Eret asked what was wrong all Tubbo could get out was</p><p>"N--nobody has gotten me anything for my birthday before"</p><p>And all Eret could do was hug Tubbo tight again and tell him just how much they loved him.</p>
<hr/><p>Tubbo's relationship with his ghost dad started to improve a couple months after he started freshman year and made friends with two kids named Tommy and Ranboo.</p><p>Eret knew Tommy, everyone knew Tommy. He was the ghost kid, so when Tubbo came home one day with wooden swords and a new best friend Eret just smiled nodded and offered to get them revolutionary outfits.</p><p>Once Ranboo shows up was when things really started to improve because apparently the new kid with the heterchromia could also see ghosts. One in a million chance but it happened.</p><p>Eret only really noticed the change when the three came down one morning and Tubbo murmured "Glatt says that your coffee is weak sauce"</p><p>Eret raised her eyebrow "Glatt?"</p><p>After a quick chanr of GLATT by the boys in cult like unison, Ranboo said simply</p><p>"Glatt, ghost schlatt" like that explained anything when all three of them saw multipleghosts and she didn't know who or what Schlatt was</p><p>Tubbo just laughed at her clear confusion "dead ghost dad"</p><p>"Oh...well, fuck you Glatt I like to be able to taste things"</p><p>Eret deserved that $30 for the shit be dealt with </p><p>Tubbo started the conversation "Why did you foster me?" not long after his first birthday with Eret</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Why'd you foster me? You're 21 it makes no sense"</p><p>Eret paused considering the situation"you want me to be completely honest?"</p><p>"Uuuhhhh yes?" Tubbo looked at them like they were an idiot</p><p>"Okay enough with the sass"</p><p>He just stuck his tongue out</p><p>"In complete honesty..."</p><p>Tubbo learn forward a little bit over the kitchen island</p><p>"it was cause of a bet"</p><p>"WHAT?"</p><p>"Me and Sap were talking about kids he bet my $30 I wouldn't get one I couldn't just back out of a bet so... I got a kid"</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Didn't even get my $30"</p><p>That broke Tubbo out of his shock "wait this is Sap as in my algebra teacher right?"</p><p>Cocking her head to the side, Eret had expected more shock or anger but no it was complete calm "that's SapNap yeah why?"</p><p>Instead of an answer to his question all he got in return was a maniacal laugh that echoed through his house.</p><p>And thus was born the quest for Eret's $30.</p>
<hr/><p>Everyday Tubbo was sent to school with a hand written note from Eret which read</p><p>Dearest Sappitus Nappitus Where the fuck is my thirty dollars, you lying ass hoe. Yours, Eret" </p><p> The kids write 'pay Eret back coward' on the back of all their tests </p><p> Everything they say to Sapnap is suffixed with "pay Eret back" </p><p>Sapnap unlocks the door to his classroom and the words "Give Eret His Thirty Dollars You Bitch" is painted on all the walls. If Eret was ever to be asked about this he would be completely unaware.</p><p>When the gangs graduation comes they are all,including Phil,Kristin and Bad, wearing matching shirts which have the words "Give Eret back his $30" emblazoned across them.</p><p>Ranboo was awarded valedictorian and begins his speech with"Before I get into the sentimental stuff about school, I have one thing to say... Sapnap, pay Eret back already damn. It's been 5 whole ass years, I know you have thirty dollars to spare cause I saw you buying five Subway footlongs yesterday don't lie to my face."There is silence in the hall before Tommy's screaming laughter echoes through it. Eret is stifling laughter and Nick has his head buried in his hands in the teachers seating.</p><p>Eret is Sapnap’s best man and continuing the tradition of using important speeches to try and get his money back Eret begins it by saying"Sap, I'm so happy for you but please please pay me back it's been 15 years dude Tubbo was your ring bearer just give me my $30"</p><p>Eret never does get his money but as he watches a semi grown up Tommy and Tubbo scream sing to the terrible song Tommy wrote to get Eret their money , While Ranboo lies on the grass next to them having a perfectly civil conversation with what is seemingly mid air, they think that it's not all that bad and maybe</p><p>Just maybe<br/>
They are a bit of the father type</p>
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